July of this year we were presented with an opportunity to help someone. A single Navy mom was deployed to Kuwaiit and had a son Ethan's age. We had met this family through housing and the school in California. We didn't know the whole story, just that his current situation wasn't working out and that she was afraid she was going to have to quit the Navy to come home and take care of him. We told our kids that we will answer someday to God himself for the situation that was presented to us. Would it be hard for our family, yes, inconveient. Would it make or break their lives, yes, it seemed so. We decided that the right thing to do was to take this little boy into our home and try to keep him happy until his Mom came home in November.
We never in a million years could've ever guessed how hard it would be. We didn't know the family background and we didn't know what we were getting ourselves into. Mom has 3 sons: one she had when she was 15 that was living with his Aunt, one two years later, living with his grandfather, and another, currently 9. All different dads, none in the picture. The good news is that they know of Jesus and they have been attending church for a few years now. However, discipline and respect were definately an issue. As was aggressive behaviour towards Ethan. This kid weighed twice what Ethan did and hurt him on a regular basis. To make matters worse for me, we had just started home schooling our kids and ended up having to home school him, on the computer, as well.
I cannot begin to tell you the struggles Chris and I have had with our own weaknesses of anger, bitterness, etc etc. But, we did pretty well and are almost on the other side of this mess. Our kids have been amazing. They really have opened up their lives, their homes, and their hearts to an almost stranger.
This child has pretty much lived in the same place his whole life and gone to the same school. He had a lot of change to deal with when living with us. He also had to make the move with us to Washington.
I am very thankful that it's over. I'm thankful that we did our best and can say we at least helped. I'm thankful that our children are who they are and have great hearts. I'm thankful that I found Jesus at a young age and he had grace and mercy on me my entire life and allowed me to be saved from some of the heartaches of early sin. I'm thankful I have a husband who is amazing to me and our kids. I'm so thankful for our family that we have to support us and our kids.
At the end of all this it is not my place to judge anyone. That is God's job. However, don't have pity on someone and their situation because of what it looks like on the outside. Yes, I had pity for a mom that had to deploy and leave her son. I cannot imagine how hard that must be. But, I also learned something else...we all make choices and those choices affect generations after us. How we live our lives and the way things turn out can be a direct result of some poor choices that are made. If you try and help someone who has made some pretty poor choices, you and your family can end up sacrificing a lot more than you bargained for. So, we are weary and worn, but God continues to strengthen our family as we seek him to figure out what he wants us to do next on this new chapter in Washington. I think he knows our hearts were in the right place as we tried to help this kid and he will bless us for that in his own way and his own time.
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