building relationships

They say that home schooling is about building relationships.  I agree with this.  Already in the few short weeks that I've been doing it I see a difference.  (And these weeks have flown, by the way, for those wondering what they'd do if their kids were home all day).  Ethan and Lauralei have a peace between them that I've only seen in them before he turned 5 and went off to school.  Everyone used to comment on how they were best friends and so nice to each other.  That changed and they became very combative with each passing year.  The peak was this past year when she entered school as well.  It broke my heart to see how cruel they were being to each other.  I couldn't seem to bridge the gap no matter what I tried.  We even had them share a room for a little while.  This helped a tiny bit but there were still some battles.  Now, they each have their own room, but prefer to spend time together. The most amazing thing is, they think about each other before themselves.  I believe that is key, before they were being very selfish and grumpy.

The grumpy came from lack of sleep.  Now there is not the pressure to get them in bed at a certain time because they have to get up early.  We can take our time and get to spend bed time talking with them and longer cuddle sessions.  This is so important to me because Ethan still likes to cuddle with me at night, he's about to turn 9 and I don't know how long that will last.  There is no more fighting with Lauralei about going to bed, getting up, and what to wear.  These were some major battles that are now replaced with a happy, peaceful, little girl.

Yesterday I had some alone time with Ethan in the car, which is rare, and we had an amazing conversation.  Nothing profound, just a conversation.  A conversation in which I was at peace and not hurrying to get stuff done (like homework).  A leisure that comes only when you've spent a lot of time together and are lazily talking.  I felt like he was a peer rather than my kid whom I'm always thinking about his well being.  Did he do his homework, what did he do today, I don't know what to talk about with him, why is he so moody, where is this attitude coming from, I'm too tired to concentrate on his endless babble, etc.  These were the things that used to go through my head when I only had the hours of 3-8pm with him every day.  There's always so much to do during that time to get ready for the next day.  Not to mention my little ones are tired and demanding me as well.  Back to what we were talking about, him wanting to spend some alone time with me.  Not wanting to go play with his friends or "can I have or do (insert whatever here)  please."  I immediately thanked God for this precious feeling of closeness and ease that I've missed with my boy.

Finally, at bed time I had a moment with Lauralei as well.  Those that know us well, know the struggle we've had with her this past year.  She has pushed us in every aspect of her life trying to see what she could get away with and would we still love her no matter what she did.  She had exhausted us and we prayed for her constantly.  There were times when the feelings weren't there but we were just going through the motions.  This happens when all you do is discipline and it's hard not to allow bitterness towards that person to grow in your heart.  Last night though, I noticed it, an ease between us.  She was my happy little girl again.  We were cuddling and sharing in conversation about nothing in particular.  She giggled, asked to spend time with me, cuddled me, and we never argued about anything.  There was a comfortable ease that was so heart warming and has been missing for a long time.  Usually she's demanding, moody, and pushes us away.  I immediately thanked God for giving me back the heart of my Lauralei.

Now, you can argue that school did not cause all of these problems.  You might be right.  However, lack of time together and outside influences is what I believe had caused these problems.  All the fighting and heartache we've been experiencing, put to a peaceful end in less than a month.  This is cause for rejoicing in my book.  Life is not perfect, and I still have to referee sometimes, but overall there is a new peace in our home.  Life is about building relationships.  This is something we are blessed to be experiencing all over again in our oldest two kids.